Well, I did NOT in fact get to see Brad Pitt. He stood me up. We’d made plans to see each other the day before. And when I tried to confirm, I got radio silence. So I asked his roomie J if I could take his blood pressure, which is what we were learning in class. I need practice, so I’ve been practicing on anyone and everyone I run across. This itself was unremarkable. The fact that Brad might’ve been home was a perk. However, Brad was “exhausted from travelling.”
Um. Ohkay, senor (I don’t know how to do the tilde on my keyboard) douchebag.
So being a lady, instead of Chuck Norris, I calmly ignored the muthafucka. When A texted and asked what the hell was going on (did we talk, what happened, did he get down on his knees when he realized his mistake), I may have let a little loose on her. I believe my exact text response was “I don’t know, Brad’s not responnding to me and J said that Brad’s ‘exhausted from travelling.’ I’m done with this, if he wants to talk to me, see me, or make another effort, it’s going to have to bee all him and you can tell that to J who can tell it to Brad because Brad’s not even talking to me.”
So fairly calm, all things considering.
I can’t count the amount of times people have said to me “Dump Brad!” or “Why do you still care about this kid?” or even one endearingly blunt friend “This kid is shit. Go after that new cute one.” Which I might do.
But the reason I can’t seem to walk away is that it’s like a giant flashing neone sign flashing above this kid like on the Sims, saying POTENTIAL. POTENTIAL. THIS COULD BE SOMEONE WHO CHANGES YOUR LIFE. THIS MAN HAS POTENTIAL.
And he does. He’s 22, with a salary job, his own car, and a career. He’s motivated, he’s funny as shit (which was how he described me, by the way), attractive, and seems pretty grounded. He’s cynical and has issues. And he’s a bit shorter than I like them. (The last three were cons, I’m not crazy) But there’s potential there, whether as friends or not. Plus we had a rocky beginning. And so now, now I finally give you the how we met story, even though it’s late. I’m fuzzy on the details because this was two months ago, but still.
I met Brad because he lives with J. I was down visiting A. And okay, to be honest I was depressed over things going on in my life. When I get depressed about something, I distract myself with something else. Anything else. And when there’s alcohol and men involved…I make men fall in love with me. Temporarily and never fully on purpose. But back to the story. There’s a sad Aurora, and booze. And SPM1 (a third roommate and friend of J and Brad), whom I and my girlfriends have admired from afar a la the idiot girls watching Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. Although we were accurate in our oggling, because SPM1 is an actual living, breathing gentleman with MORALS. THEY STILL EXIST. CUE THE GASPS.
Soo, what did I do? I got flirty. Because I was exhausted with life and I was tired of the monotony and feeling like anything exciting was a billion miles away from me. And apparently SPM1 texted J asking about my situation, to which J stated I was both single and thought he was cute. So SPM1 lured me into his room by saying he had a hosptial bed as his bed totally did. IT WAS AWESOME.) and then there was kissing and flirting abounding. We also agreed to hang out the following night.
So the next night comes around. And this group of us go out for Thai, putting us all at the wonderous number of 8, four girls and four boys. Naturally, the girl’s carpooled. And we got there first. So we were trying to sit like we weren’t speed dating, which turned out to be impossible. And then the guys showed up, which I was assuming would include SMP1. It didn’t, however Brad was there. He sat exactly across from me and as the Hobbit had just come out, we were discussing the technical aspects of the story in the book against the movie and I was pro-adaptation of Bombur whereas he was wary of how cute and cuddly he was in the movie. I think his exact word was fat, but I adamantly admired his cuddlinesss. But it was fun, I noticed he was attractive but considering the previous night and the current flirtation with his roommate/one of his best friends, I knew that wasn’t going to happen. And I didn’t want to be THAT GIRL. But apparently after the dinner, he remarked to J that I was cute. Even though he knew about SPM1.
So we fast forward to the next weekend. I think? Anyways, the next important thing in the chain of events was that a friend my big sister and I made in Hawaii died. Randomly. Out of the blue. So she calls when I’m out at their house panicking and crying. So I go outside and talk to her. I hadn’t been drinking. I came back in and took two big pulls straight from the bottle. I then calmly stated that my friend died, I didn’t want to talk about it, and that was that. Everyone was watching me like a time bomb, but I stay calm in a crisis. So instead, what I did was dumb. I pulled SPM1 off into a private corner and we began the whole kissing thing again, but he asked thought that I had a thing with Brad. I clarified that although he was cute, I didn’t want anything other than friendship with his friend. And that’s when he said that’s all he wanted from me too. Which didn’t hurt me. At all. Which was when I knew I’d chosen the wrong one. But it felt nice kissing him and it reminded me that I was alive. I was alive and my friend was not. It was my way of grieving. He walked me back after the kissing and kissed me good night.
The next morning we went to brunch as a group and Brad sat next to me. He was sweet and charming and clever and I felt awful. So when the guys wanted to shopping, I joined. I had a great time with them, and Brad just kept making me laugh. I was wistfully thinking of the potential relationship I’d thrown away when the guys found out about my lack of movie knowledge. If it’s not Disney, I don’t know it. It’s a pretty safe generalization. This horrified them and a movie night was planned for that night. We watched Arthur and before the movie started, I had the urge to be next to Brad. So I changed spots. Brad offered me some of his blanket, which I accepted. He then was right next to me, and I don’t know which of us started it, but he was holding my hand and I was curling into him. I was happy and everyone was shocked because apparently Brad doesn’t date. At all. Ever. However, my conscience was getting in the way of being happy and so I told him we should probably talk. So we went into his room and I stood there anxiously.
“So you probably know.”
He was impassive. “Know what?”
“About SPM1 and…me.”
“Yes, I know.”
I couldn’t quite believe my ears. “You know? And you’re okay with this?”
“Yes. Did it mean anything to you?”
“No. It was dumb, and a mistake.”
“Then that’s all that needs to be said about it.”
He then smiled and pulled me into a big hug and just held me there. He asked when I was coming back next. I told him I wasn’t sure, and then he asked me on a date. A legitimate date. He’d later teasingly text me saying that my face asked him to ask me out which I couldn’t decide was a compliment or not.
Because I’m short on time, I’ll give the cliff notes of what happened next and will elaborate if asked. We were texting nonstop and all of the sudden I get a text that floors me. He asked if I had made out with SPM1 because I was drunk. I told him no. I held myself accountable for that, and besides, it wasn’t like I slept with him. Apparently he’d accused his best friend of technical rape because he thought I was intoxicated. I was furious, texted him back saying that was ridiculous and I didn’t know what to think of someone who was so quick to think the worse of his best friend. We resolved it, but apparently that’s how his friends knew he was really interested in me. Our date went great, dinner and a movie with friends. We texted back and forth a lot, to which almost a week later there hadn’t been plans for a second. So I asked him if he’d had a good time. Aaaaand I got a phone call saying he wasn’t sure if we clicked. He said we could be just be friends or go on a second date to confirm. I didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t want to be with me, so I said just friends. We texted off and on then, but I was frankly relieved. I didn’t want to be stuck with someone. Until I visited next and got super nervous. However, we got super flirty again and unfortunately, I got gluten-ized. So I got massively sick, and no one could figure out why, because I was too sick to explain. I was coherent enough to insist Brad be kept away, but not okay enough to know that he was there, just out of my sight making sure I was okay. The next day, I texted apologizing, and he kept up a steady stream of conversation and wanted to see me before I left. We went for a mini-walk, he apologized and said we really had two options: I could know he was a commitment-phobe and be willing to deal with his quirks, or we could be firmly in the friend zone. I chose to deal because the whole potential neon sign. But then he had to go out of town for work, and I didn’t see him for three weeks. Actually, I haven’t seen him in a month. But something happened while he was gone. It was fine at first, we texted nonstop and we were both really, really happy. We even had plans for second real date. But he just…I don’t even know what happened. All of the sudden, he just want gone. He wanted nothing to do with me. So when I sent him a message saying ‘Looking forward to being friends with you. :)’ and continued on to say to let me know when he got back so we could hang out. He didn’t even acknowledge the friendzoning, just told me he’d be back a day later than expected. Then we made tenative plans to see each other….where I got stood up. We’ve reached full circle.
But now, now I have to go down to the place he lives for an interview Tuesday morning, and I’ll be there all Monday afternoon. And I’m scared. I want this interview to go well and I want closure.
I’ll update soon,
Aurora
Eccentric Elephants 